B-ROE- Sir Cameron Newton is looking like a big fantasy bust so far this year, and Matty Ice to Julio Jones is looking like Montana to Rice. Turner will run all over the Panthers like a drunk driver. Falcons 30-17
Rob – Cam Newton’s sophomore effort has been pretty horrendous so far this year and the running game may as well just take a knee every down at this rate. If you want to see impressive football make sure you turn the TV off when the Panthers are on offense. Falcons win big.
MATT- Cam Newton will come back and cause some problems for the Falcons D, but Matt Ryan has too many options for the panthers D to cover. Atlanta 27 – Carolina 17
PATRIOTS @ BILLS—
B-ROE- Tom Brady hates Buffalo hotel rooms. There aren’t closets big enough to fit his collection of Uggs and hair products. Although Ryan “The Amish Rifle” FitzPatrick has a good game, Pats will win. Pats 35-30
Rob – Pats are on the ropes and have been playing sub-par football. Buffalo needs their running game to keep the Pats on their heels, two injured running backs don’t really help that cause. Pats win in a close one, if you only care about the first half.
MATT- Brady and Belichick are officially pissed. They run up the score and embarrass the bills on their home turf. New England 45 – Buffalo-13
VIKINGS @ LIONS—
B-ROE- The Lions D can’t stop a nosebleed, but thankfully they have Mr. Look-like-a-frat-boy-forever Matty Stafford. Lions win 30-28
Rob – I was told on a booze cruise last week that I look like Matt Stafford, I took it as a compliment but the guy said he wanted to fight me. We had a good laugh, he ended up in the hospital, none of that really happened. Vikings have been impressive but Peterson gets hurt since it has been 3 weeks and he is still healthy. Lions win because I look like Matt Stafford.
MATT-After the amazing comeback followed by disappointing finish last week, the Lions will come out hard and fast. If Mikel Leshoure plays he’ll bring a balance to the Lions offense that the Vikings will not be able to keep up with. Minnesota 28 – Detroit 27
TITANS @ TEXANS—
B-ROE-Chris Johnson is all that is wrong with professional sports. Texans 27-17
Rob – Schoster takes off for another huge game and the Titans, well I can pretty much leave it at this. Houston wins big.
MATT-Matt Schaub’s ear and all continues a good season as the Texans run all over a severely overmatched Titans team. Houston 35 – Tennessee 17
CHARGERS @ CHIEFS—
B-ROE-Phillip Rivers complains while Norv Turner looks befuddled. Chargers still somehow win 21-20
Rob – This is an interesting game, no seriously, it is. The Chiefs have an offense that can actually be explosive and the Chargers have Rivers who will explode while yelling at his offensive line to give him more protection because he can’t take blame himself. Chiefs win a close one.
MATT-KC suffers a letdown after their big win against New Orleans. The Chargers D will slow down Jamal Charles enough to stop the chiefs offense. San Diego 24 – Kansas City 13
49ERS @ JETS—
B-ROE-Get ready for the “Tebow” chants as Sanchez continues to look like “Sanchize”. 49ers 17-12
Rob – 49ers have something to prove and the Jets have multiple identity crisis’s as they have a QB on the punt team and a RB playing cornerback. Rex Ryan says the wrong play into the headset as he’s ordering a hot dog and Sanchez runs to the sideline to order one himself. 49ers destroy the Jets on the field, the result is a low scoring game.
MATT-The Jets suck even more now without Darrell Revis. Alex Smith hits Crabtree for 2 tds. San Francisco 20 – New York 7
SEAHAWKS @ RAMS—
B-ROE-If Sam Bradford wasn’t a Ram, then maybe he would be a good QB…Nah…Rams win anyway 14-12. Marshawn Lynch…. HOLDDDD MYY DiiiiiiiiiCK
Rob – Despite the horribleness that concluded the MNF game between them and the Packers, the Seahawks are really good this year. Golden Tate made that catch whether you like it or not, not because I believe it but because it says it in the record books (where do they keep those anyway). The Rams are still the Rams and Bradford continues to disappoint me. Seahawks blow out the Rams.
MATT-Same situation as Monday, but the real refs won’t blow it. St Louis 12-Seattle 7
DOLPHINS @ CARDINALS—
B-ROE-The Cardinals really aren’t this good, however they get another win because the Dolphins are actually not that good. Cardinals 27-20
Rob – Arizona is a fun team to watch, too bad the Dolphins aren’t…not even to laugh at. Arizona wins and there really isn’t much else to say, hopefully they will air some good commercials for the people watching.
MATT-Editor’s note…Matt did not submit a pick for this. Instead of doing the proper thing of letting him know, I’m going to replace his thoughts with a clip from Ace Ventura.
RAIDERS @ BRONCOS—
B-ROE-I would rather watch Janikowski and Prater have a kicking contest. One of them breaks the record this game with a 66-yarder. Broncos 38-35
Rob – A great game that will be telling of how far these teams will go this year. I expect one of these teams to sneak into the playoffs. Expect to see a lot of beer and cigarettes on the sidelines as Janikowski is going to be on camera way too much.
MATT-Peyton will fall behind yet again, but this time finishes the comeback hooking up with Eric Decker in the final minute to secure the win. Denver 24 – Oakland 21
BENGALS @ JAGUARS—
B-ROE-Andy Dalton gets criticized for playing without any soul, but he can’t help it; he’s a ginger. Bengals win anyway 27-10
Rob – Andy Dalton has an amazingly great game because he’s a ginger and because Fuck You Brenden.
MATT- The Red Rocket continues his roll. He keeps hitting the best young receiver in the Game AJ Green for over a buck fifty and 2 tds. Cincinnati 28 – Jacksonville 13
REDSKINS @ BUCCANEERS—
B-ROE- RGIII puts dah team on his back dough. Redskins win 20-17
Rob – If RGIII had a defense his team would actually be able to win. The Bucs haven’t been looking that great after week #1. RGIII gets rolling big time in this game, he’s starting to make me a believer. Skins win.
MATT- After 2 tough losses RGIII takes his anger out on a horrible Buccaneers pass d. Josh freeman makes it close, but not close enough Washington 38 – Tampa Bay 28
GIANTS @ EAGLES—
B-ROE- Mike Vick gets beaten like he peed on the rug. Maybe Trent Edwards will get some playing time in Philly this year? Giants win 30-20.
ROB – Game of the week? These teams always play each other incredibly hard and that should be fun to watch. Vick throws interceptions and everyone overreacts because they don’t remember that he always has thrown interceptions just in Atlanta no one cared. Eli continues to climb to the top ranks of quarterbackdom and leads his team to victory.
MATT- Justin Tuck and company continue the physical dismantling of Michael Vick. Eli Manning continues to play well. New York 27 – Philadelphia 17
BEARS @ COWBOYS—
B-ROE- Jay Cutler does not care. Bears win 24-20
Rob – Romo and Cutler are the equivalent of going to a Chinese Massage parlor, getting all worked up and not getting the happy ending because it is a legitimate place of business. Get ready for some low scoring blue balls as neither of these two do anything worth noting. Cowboys win because my coin said so.
MATT-Two overrated qbs going at it…in the end, the Bears defense holds on and Matt Forte is good enough to get the bears the w. Bears 20 – Cowboys 17
PACKERS @ SAINTS—
Rob – If I’m wrong about the Giants/Eagles game this will be the game of the week. Both QBs are dying to have huge games and take their teams out of their holes and march into the playoffs confidently. I’ll be calling this game so I can’t pick who will win.
MATT- After a few lackluster weeks Aaron Rodgers takes matters into his own hands and carves up a hapless saints d like a thanksgiving turkey. Green Bay 31 – New Orleans 24