The Punt Protector That Could

Gather the kids around, it’s time for another edition of Re-Written bedtime stories. This week, Tim Tebow is The Little Engine That Could.

He thinks he can…

An overrated backup quarterback had to get onto the field.

He went along very well till he came to the NFL. But then, no matter how hard he tried, he could not move the chains.

He threw and he threw. He ran and he ran. He dropped back and started off again. INT! INT!

But no! the ball would not spiral.

At last he was left by the Broncos and started out to the Jets alone. Do you think he had stopped working? No, indeed! He was going for help.

“Surely I can find someone to help me,” he thought.

Out of the locker room and onto the field went Tebow. “Help me Jesus! Help me Jesus! Help me Jesus!”

Pretty soon he saw a head coach standing on a side line. He looked very big and fat. Running to him, Tebow looked up and said:

“Will you help me get to the endzone with one of my throws?  The field is so long and my motion so slow…I can’t reach our goal.”

The big fat coach looked down at the backup QB’s feet. The he said:

“Don’t you see that I am through my day’s work? Feet must be rubbed and burgers readied for my next meal. No, I cannot help you,”

The backup QB was sorry, but he went on, Help me Jesus! Help me Jesus! Help me Jesus!

Soon he came to a handsome looking QB standing on the side line. He was posing with his shirt off for no-one in particular.

“The Sanchise may help me!” thought the backup QB. He ran alongside and asked:

“Will you help me get to the endzone with one of my throws?  The field is so long and my motion so slow…I can’t reach our goal.

The overrated, but still more talented than Tebow, Quarterback answered:

“I have just come in from a long, long drive that ended in an interception. Don’t you see how tired I am? Can’t you get some other player to help you this time? The Sanchise has another GQ spread to do!”

“I’ll try,” said the backup QB, and off he went.

After a while he came to a player surrounded by children: this player was the complete opposite of the backup QB. Tebow ran alongside and said:

“Will you help me get to the endzone with one of my throws?  The field is so long and my motion so slow…I can’t reach our goal.

“Yes, indeed!” said Antonio Cromartie. “I’ll be glad to help you, if you help with my child support. But, you will not be throwing it!”

So both players started back to where the ball would be punted to. The backup QB went to the head of the line, the baby daddy to catch the ball behind him.

The whistle blew..the ball was kicked! Off they started!

Slowly the men began to move. Slowly they moved across the field. Tebow ran over defenders, each player began to sing:

“I-think-I-can! I-think-I-can! I-think-I-can! I-think-I-can! I-think-I-can! I-think-I-can! I think I can – I think I can – I think I can I think I can–“

And they did! Very soon they were over the 50 yard line and going down toward the endzone.

Now they were in the open; and backup QB-turned punt protector could take the ball himself. So he took a lateral from the player who can’t remember his own kids’ names, and said good-bye.

And he went merrily on his way, singing:

” J! E! T! S! JETS! JETS! JETS!”

THE END

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About B Roe

Tall, charming, handsome sports fanatic.
This entry was posted in Football and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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