How I Didn’t Watch the All-Star Game and Still Experienced it

It’s funny. The All-Star game, a game that fills the seats full of fans that are only there because they have money and want to brag to their friends that they went only to be disappointed when their friend says “no one cares, bro”, is a exhibition game that actually means something.

Means something? To who?

The fans? Maybe. They are the ones shelling out mega bucks to get a glimpse of the best players in baseball play 3 outs in a game and maybe, just maybe, get an at bat before a mediocre player from a losing team, because we have to be fair after all, replaces them and strikes out against a mediocre pitcher who only made the team because everyone needs representation.

These same replacements are the ones playing for which league gets home field advantage during a game that their team, because they are 12-69 at the All-Star break, won’t be considered for even if they decided  to reset the standings in September. How, may I ask, does it make sense that a team who could actually limp into the playoffs with a losing record, NL West, get home field advantage, if they were fortunate enough to make it, in the world series against a team, any team, from the AL East?

It doesn’t make sense at all! And what does this game do for anyone? I watched the top of the 7th inning, where Ryan Cook struck out two batters, and I had enough. The All-Star game is becoming a mockery of epic proportions. One that fans scoff at now because the players pretty much do the same. The game means nothing to them even with the added “home field advantage” clause that makes this game even less interesting.

Here is what they should do next year.

1. Bonus Points: Get some big targets out there, every time a player hits one a fan gets something. I don’t care if it’s a stuffed replica of Hugh Downs and Barbra Walters sitting at the 20/20 desk or money, who cares, it’s free and it’s fun.

2. Player Substitutions: Get the starting 9 out there, take them out of the game in the 2nd inning and let them come back out for innings 5-9. Take the players that only Buster Olney has heard of out of there and inject some more excitement into the back end of the game.

3. Cancel the Game: I’m shocked Fox still carries this game, I guess they get good ratings from the elderly thinking it’s the world series while tuning into Fox because they are looking to watch Bill O’Reilly. For the record I’m aware that he isn’t on Fox, he’s on Fox News.

4. Get rid of “It Counts” rule: Or whatever the stupid saying is. How can a league that values it’s past so much actually consider this a good move. Nice, Selig.

The All-Star game. A game the players don’t care about except for the fact that they get a check in the mail for money that most of us won’t accumulate over the course of our entire life. And, when it’s all said and done, that’s all that really matters.

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