If I were Greg Schiano I Would’ve Told Tom Coughlin…

You can’t make this stuff up, even if you were writing about an old coach and his old school ways facing the young, uprising former collegiate coach who is looking to make his mark on the NFL as early as possible, you really couldn’t. Some people are old school and agree with Coughlin, some people are new school and still agree with Coughlin. Let’s face it Schiano’s move on Eli Manning was busch league, but let’s act like we agree with him and collectively support him by saying, in many different ways, “FUCK YOU COUGHLIN!”

Go ahead, it’s fun!

This kind of looks like a sad movie where the old guy is gunna die but tells his son that he’s not the real father

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Rotten Tomato: Shaun White Arrested

Shaun White can now add this to his numerous Olympic and X Games medals. Here is his mugshot after being arrested for being a ginger, public intoxication, and vandalism.

According to reports, White drunkenly smashed a phone and pulled a fire alarm at a Nashville Hotel before running into a fence outside the hotel.

I guess gingers really don’t have souls.

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NFL Week 2 Recap

Going into this weekend I mentioned that NFL fans should look for what teams look like they can be serious contenders, and what ones look like they will be pretenders. Football is a funny game because on any given Sunday anything can happen, and that point was proven this weekend. Here are my random thoughts on week two, starting with the New York teams. 

 

Tampa Bay @ NY Giants – Wow what a game. Eli Manning does it again. What else can you say about this guy? With Eli at the helm he has proven that you can never count the Giants out of a game. Eli was awful in the first half throwing three interceptions, but he is quickly becoming to the Giants what Derek Jeter is to the New York Yankees…captain clutch. 

Eli Manning went off in the fourth quarter throwing for 243 yards. Finishing the game with 510 total yards. To be clear how impressive that number is, the opposing quarterback Josh Freeman on Tampa Bay had 243 yard passing IN THE GAME…Eli Manning did that IN A QUARTER. Not to mention the Giants trailed by two touchdowns in the game and won by 7.

Starting running back Ahmad Bradshaw left the game with a neck stinger and the Giants were also playing this game with cornerbacks coming off the practice squad, and in case you didn’t know the Bucs have some receivers who can catch. Those guys did catch, but it didn’t matter. Eli wasn’t going to let his early mistakes dictate this game. He was cool, calm, and collected, and his team has their first win of the season. 

Now they go on the road to face Cam Newton in Carolina on short rest. The Panthers are coming off of an impressive home win against the New Orleans Saints. Both teams will have a lot of momentum going into this Thursday night matchup, and it should be fun to watch. 

NY Jets @ Pittsburgh Steelers – When Darrell Revis was officially ruled out of this game with a concussion of Friday the chances of the Jets getting a win on the road against a very tough AFC opponent looked slim. Still one player does not make up a team so there is no excuses. The problem is Revis does make up the Jets defense, and when the offense is going to play like they did on Sunday, the Jets need all the defense they could get. On the Steelers injury front they were without linebacker James Harrison and safety Troy Polamalu, both big pieces to their defense so you can call it even with injuries. 

On the offensive front the Jets came out rolling just like they did against Buffalo, putting up 10 points on their first two possessions. But, then suddenly Jets QB Mark Sanchez looked like the Sanchez of old. Some people will say that he took a helmet to helmet hit and never looked the same again. That is true, but the point is he stayed on the field and never complained of any concussion like symptoms to anyone on the coaching staff. Maybe he was hurt, but it cannot be used as an excuse when it goes unspoken of and the player is not sitting on the sideline. 

No one can quite put their finger on exactly what happened to the Jets offense. Maybe the Steelers defense figured them out? Maybe Sanchez was hurt? The point is after playing five quarters of excellent football to start the season, the offense quickly reverted back to the offense of the preseason. They need to have it straightened out again by next Sunday. 

The next opponent are the Dolphins in Miami. The Dolphins beat a bad Oakland team who traveled to the east coast for a 1pm game and are now tied for first at 1-1 with the Bills, Jets and Patriots in the division. Though this game should be a walk in the park for the Jets, the Dolphins always play the Jets tough so they must be taken seriously. This is a MUST WIN for the Jets and Mark Sanchez if he wants to keep his job, because after that the Jets go home for games against the 49ers and the Texans, two teams most people have as Superbowl contenders. If the Jets lose to the Dolphins and then at home to the Niners and Texans, then you may see Tim Tebow starting in week 6 against Indianapolis. 

Kansas City @ Buffalo – Kansas City is a bad team, far over-hyped coming into the season. Buffalo is not a very good team, but looked like a much better team this week. One thing Buffalo does have is a star player in running back C.J. Spiller. Spiller, after going off for 169 rushing yards against the Jets in week one, tacked on 123 more and 2 touchdowns on 15 carries in week two. He also had 3 receptions on 3 targets for 47 yards. The Fred Jackson injury may have been a blessing for the Bills who have no other choice but to unleash Spiller on opponents now. If their defense can get it together, Spiller as the every down running back can be the perfect antidote for their offense. 

Arizona @ New England – How can I not mention the biggest upset of the season so far in the NFL? I almost feel guilty taking the title away from RGIII one week after he went into to Superdome and beat the Saints. The Saints are 0-2 now and playing without their head coach. The Patriots were playing at home with full health which makes this upset much bigger. 

The Cardinals come into this game having to start second string quarterback Kevin Kolb who is viewed in the league as nothing more then a game manager. He did nothing spectacular in this game but managed the offense well enough while the Cardinals defense was just outstanding. Cardinals superstar wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald was held to only one catch for 4 yards on 5 targets, and yet the Cardinals still managed the shocker. 

The Patriots lost tight end Aaron Hernandez to an ankle injury, but that didn’t stop Tom Brady. Wes Welker came off the bench and led the team with 5 catches for 95 yards. The great Rob Gronkowski finished the game with 6 catches for 75 yards and a touchdown in the 4th quarter. He did not however catch the pass on the 2 point conversion which was the difference in this game. 

Both teams had chances to put the other team away and did not capitalize. Trying to run out the clock Cardinals second year running back Ryan Williams fumbled the football into the hands of Vince Wilfork. The Patriots now have the ball in field goal range with one of the best kickers in the game. Game over right?…Not so fast. After a Danny Woodhead rushing touchdown is called back because of blatant holding on Gronkowski, kicker Stpehen Gosktowksi misses a short field goal after previously going 4 for 4 earlier in the game and the Cardinals win. An incredible win by Arizona who moves to 2-0 on the season and has now won 9 of 11 dating back to last season. This just proves, anyone can win on any given Sunday. 

Denver @ Atlanta – Peyton Manning was far from superior in this game throwing three interceptions in the first quarter. If Peyton looked like this is week one I wouldn’t have been surprised since he missed the entire 2011 season. This game proved that Peyton is human, he’s coming back from four neck surgeries and he will need some time before he will be himself again. What he did prove though is that though he is still shaking off some rust, he didn’t lose his smarts. Peyton didn’t throw a pick the rest of the game and with the help of the Broncos defense he actually got Denver back into this game. 

The Broncos were trailing 27-7 in the fourth quarter and he would get them as close as 27-21. I would’ve loved to see what he could’ve done had he gotten the ball back in the final two minutes of the game. The most impressive play to me was on a 4 & Goal on the 3 yard line with the Broncos trailing 27-14, Peyton audibled to a running play and Willis McGahee ran it in for a score. He read the defense, knew they were playing for the pass and a quarterback of his caliber decided he was going to trust his running back and offensive line to get the team six points in that spot. I’ve never seen such a thing from a quarterback of his stature, but it was brilliantly executed all around. 

On the Falcons side of the ball, I still don’t trust this team. The Broncos couldn’t have had a worse first quarter. They had four turnovers in total and gave the Falcons a 20 point lead. You never see a road team come back from something like this, but Atlanta let Denver right back in, and everyone in that stadium was sweating it out in the final five minutes of that game. Atlanta is 2-0 and first place in the division. Right now they look good enough to be a playoff team, but if you can’t put a team away and capitalize on all of those mistakes, then you’ll be one and done come playoff time. 

Lots of big games to watch in week three starting with the Giants and Panthers on Thursday night, followed by Tampa Bay @ Dallas on Sunday, two teams coming off disappointing losses. Also on tap, Philadelphia @ Arizona, Atlanta @ San Diego, Houston @ Denver, and New England @ Baltimore. So as you’re dealing with the stresses of your work week, think about how your week is going to end with some great football matchups. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

 

Written by:

Brian C. Smith

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Rex Ryan-ing

No one really like Rex Ryan, so let’s fuck around with this picture.

I’ll start it off, please add your own caption in the replies:

- “But you’re Arby’s, how are you out of Roast Beef?”

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Hating Cortland Finnegan

Cortland, maybe the best at being an asshole in the NFL

Cortland Finnegan is well known in the football community for his brash, unapologetic, douchebag way of playing the game but, you know what, he is good at his job. Not as well known as some of his counterparts, Cortland is known by wide receivers across the NFL due to him being an asshole who likes to provoke actions that get the opposing team penalized, usually for unnecessary roughness. Many of you will remember this gem from a few years ago…

Well, he is up to his old tricks again and, although still a douchebag, he may have won the game for the Rams when Josh Morgan’s actions cost the Redskins 15 yards because he threw a ball at the Cornerback. As a result Billy Cundiff had to attempt a 62-yard field goal instead of a much easier, in comparison, 47-yarder. So Cortland, hopefully one day you get knocked out, but until then keep up the douchebaggery and maybe you’ll actually be a productive member of a team one day.

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“Drawing” Conclusions From Night Of Champions

Frank Manzo, writer/co-host for Wrestle Reaction weighs in on last night’s WWE pay-per-view “Night of Champions”. Follow @wrestle_react on twitter for all news Wrestling!

Night of Champions, despite all of its prestige and usual good booking, has done very little in the past few years to truly step away from being a “B” Pay Per View for WWE.  I wanted this year to be the change, I wanted WWE to have a real solid and creative “B” Show here (see Extreme Rules).  In my opinion, it was good, but by end of 2012, it will have done very little to step out as an event worth noting.

What Worked:

Daniel Bryan and Kane as a combination, entertainment pair, and Tag Team Wrestlers are Pure GOLD, just like the gold… err… Bronze around their waists now (God I really dislike those belts).  Even though I thought they would’ve benefited more against a Heel Championship Team, I think last night’s Tag Match was one of the better outings for PPV this year.  Definitely a lot more comedy, backstabbing, hugging, YES’s, NO’s, and winning to come for this duo.

Rise Above Cancer.  This is a great partnership for WWE to have and it’s a very worthy cause.  Anything they can do to hit the Main Stream and get away from that “Wrasslin” is good for their image and public worth.  I’m sure Linda’s campaign will use it as a talking point, I would.

Zack Ryder vs Antonio Cesaro.  Fantastic match start to finish.  In some ways, maybe my favorite of the night.  Nobody has sold that in-air European Uppercut for Cesaro like Zack did last night.  Speaking of, it was great to see Ryder back in somewhat of a spotlight.  Winning the Battle Royal on the Pre Show and then going on to have a great 1 on 1 match on Pay Per View is no small deal in my eyes.  Look for more of Zack for the next few weeks, Woo Woo Woo.

The Kaitlyn “Nancy Kerrigan Angle”.  Fine with me.  If it takes 1 minute of a show and throws back to a HUGE 90′s reference, I’m totally good with it.  Definitely got a laugh.  As for the actual match, check “What Didn’t Work”.

Liked the Intercontinental Title 4 way Match, didn’t LOVE it.  I guess I just expect more from these 4.  Say what you want about Sin Cara but when he’s got rhythm, he can do some pretty incredible things in the ring.  Not enough of that last night and the missed dropkick to the pin didn’t help either.  Loved the finish with a masked Miz pinning Cody Rhodes.

CM Punk as a Heel is working out better than I think WWE pictured.  The Yankee’s pinstripe attire was perfect, his long drawn own ring announcement was something memorable, and Paul Heyman was subtle but effective.  I like where this is all going and Punk is definitely my favorite character in WWE.

What Didn’t Work:

Have you ever wanted to see WWE try to tell a storyline in the middle of a match and the crowd have NO response to it whatsoever?  You don’t have to look far, see Eve vs Layla last night.  I don’t know what happened here but 2 of WWE’s better Divas had a stinker and Eve’s attempt at switching character back to the villainous and opportunistic bitch did not go over with the Live crowd.  Were the bathrooms full at that time?

Despite both matches being very well worked and enjoyable, I have to say, I lost some interest in this Pay Per View during the Ziggler vs Orton and Sheamus vs Del Rio matches.  I think all 4 men did a great job with their characters and wrestling last night, but it’s just been too often over too short a period of time that we’ve seen these matches over and over.  PLEASE WWE just TRY some new matches!  Mix up the mid card and upper card guys if you have to.  It will hurt no one and will help the Mid Carders get comfortable in bigger matches.

“It’s prestige.  It’s a night of celebration for Wrestling’s most important titles.  It’s one of the most important nights of the year…” and OUR WWE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH DIDN’T HAVE A DECIDED WINNER.  Fans went home and ended watching Pay Per View with a tie.  A DRAW at Night of CHAMPIONS?  Boxing’s worst moments ever were bad decisions or Split Decisions that went to the wrong person but still, there was a DECISION.  Call me whiny, complaining, whatever you want to, sending people home at the end of a Pay Per View with a Draw is WRONG.  Whether you’re a fan at home paying $55 to watch or a fan Live at the Arena paying $50-500 to watch, you deserve more than that for your hard earned dollars (need not apply to those “stealing” PPV with online streaming sites, you didn’t pay anyway).

If the WWE ended Raw like this, I would gladly defend it because the model of wrestling has been to have indecision at the end of the weekly TV show very often.  I like that, I’m fine with that.  It reminds me of some of my favorite cliffhanger shows (24, Lost) that kept you coming back every week and made you count the days.  However, I shelled out 55 big ones last night and I think we deserved a little pay off.  Yes I know it’s all scripted anyway and no matter what happens it’s what they WANT to happen, but… at the end of a PPV a winner needs to be defined.  For all of you saying “well this was the perfect ending to keep this feud going…” YOU need to remember also, it’s scripted and they can keep it going any way they want!  My alternative:  Paul Heyman costs John Cena the match somehow, CM Punk walks out with the title (same thing accomplished), Heyman and Punk have more heat (more accomplished), John Cena got “screwed” out of the title (any MARK Cena fan will tell you that if you ask about last night, same thing accomplished), and you gave the people a true decision while still creating much INDECISION.  Sounds like both of those ways leads to a rematch at Hell in a Cell right?

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NFL Picks: Week 2

Oakland@Miami -

ROB- Backup long-snapper, Travis Goethel, will still think it’s bowling and rolls the ball to the punter in key situations, Miami cannot capitalize on field position. Oakland wins on botched punt that converts to a fake punt to get a first down in the closing minutes winning 3-0.

MATT- Ryan Tannehill’s turnovers would be overcome if the Raiders still had the same long snapper from Monday night, but since they’re going with the old starter, or a new signee if the old guy is still concussed….Raiders 24-Dolphins 9

BRENDEN- The Dolphins will put up a fight, in the first quarter. After Darrin McFadden goes 80 yards for a score and Heyward-Bey torches the Miami secondary the Raider win big 30-17.

Houston@Jacksonville –

ROB- An interesting match-up, if you happen to be a fan of lop-sided victories. Houston’s offense rolls over Jacksonville despite DeAngelo Williams running for 100 yards because he’s on my fantasy team.

MATT- Texans are too strong for the Blaine Gabbert led Jags. Texans 42- Jaguars 13

BRENDEN- Texans bust out the whooping stick and Andre Johnson hauls in 3 TD’s before the Jaguars quit in the 3rd quarter. 30-10 Texans.

Cleveland@Cincinnati –

ROB- Ohio hasn’t been this conflicted since week 1 in college football where Ohio State took on Miami of Ohio. The fans will beg for that game to come on the jumbotron so they have something interesting to watch. Cleveland wins and gets one highlight from Richardson when he takes someones head off with his helmet.

MATT- I think we will see just how important Joe Haden is to the Browns D this week. The Red Rifle and AJ Green torch the Browns secondary. Bengals 31- Browns 10

BRENDEN- Lebron James suits up for the Browns and leads them to the upset. Actually he doesn’t, because he plays basketball for the Miami Heat. Why would you ever believe something that stupid? Bengals win 24-14.

Kansas City@Buffalo –

ROB- An interesting game that features two teams that could surprise us. CJ Spiller looked like Peyton Hillis last week, sorry Buffalo that pretty much means that’s all he’s going to do this year. Kansas City wins because I hate Buffalo.

MATT- Mario Williams will come up huge in his Buffalo home debut and CJ spiller will breakout with the absence of Fred Jackson. Bills 27- Chiefs 13

BRENDEN- Ryan PicksPatrick hands the ball off to CJ Spiller, who looks like he did back at Clemson and the Bills beat the Chiefs 27-24.

Baltimore@Philadelphia –

ROB- Flacco will throw for 300 yards and Ray Rice may run for the same. Philly just can’t seem to click with each other and with Maclin possibly out they will have to deal with DeSean Jackson who will do something dumb to lose the game for his team.

MATT- Mike Vick continues to turn the ball over and Ray Rice will run all over the wide 9 defense. Ravens 38- Eagles 14

BRENDEN- You can’t spell “Elite” without “Flacco”. Vick doesn’t win this week, which is fine because HE BEAT AND MURDERED INNOCENT DOGS. 24-17 Ravens.

Minnesota@Indianapolis –

ROB- Adrian Peterson looked like his old self last week so we can expect him to get hurt week 4. He rips apart this Indy defense and Andrew Luck tries to Tebow because it worked for RG III. Vikings win in a blowout.

MATT- Adrian Peterson can’t cover up for the inept Vikes Passing attack. Andrew Luck will get his first NFL win. Colts 24- Vikings 20

BRENDEN- Luck accidentally hands off to his old college running back Toby Gerhart, who plays for the Vikings and the Colts lose 27-23.

Arizona@New England –

ROB- Former Philadelphia sweetheart Kevin Kolb looks like he will get the start this Sunday for the Cardinals, he is the only one in Arizona who thinks that is good news. Patriots roll ‘em and let’s hope Ricky Williams isn’t around because he may try to smoke them. (horrible joke, sorry)

MATT- Stevan Ridley continues to break out as defenses are more worried about Brady and Co. Also Kevin Kolb= A.J. Feeley Redux. Pats 35-Cardinals 17

BRENDEN- Kevin Kolb plays well but well by his standards is 2 TD’s and 2 INT’s. Patrick Peterson takes one to the house. It doesn’t matter because by that time Brady is already home banging Gisele. Patriots rout the Cardinals 45-21.

New Orleans@Carolina –

ROB- I feel bad for Carolina, I really do. They got outplayed and outsmarted by a guy from Rutgers, probably the first times that’s ever been said, and they looked lost for most of the game. The Saints have something to prove because they got trounced by Washington, again something that may have never been said. Saints win in a blowout that leaves Cam Newton wondering if RG III will rip off his touchdown move.

MATT- Superman can’t cover up for the lack of a running game and a hobbled Steve Smith. Drew Brees will lead the Saints to the road victory. Saints 28- Panthers 14

BRENDEN- Sir Cameron Newton looks like he has turnstiles for an O-Line. He’s screwed. Brees makes it look easy in a 38-24 win.

Tampa Bay@NY Giants –

ROB- The Giants running game looks miserable against the Cowboys and after last weeks performance it looks like more of the same against Tampa Bay. Eli has some really funny commercials out right now so they get the win, did you know he drove a Toyota? (Editors note: I still haven’t been paid for the mention yet)

MATT- Giants receivers stop being Clifford Franklin and decide to catch the ball.  Justin Tuck and the Giants D-Line will help cover up the lack of talent in the secondary. Giants 27- Bucs 20

BRENDEN- Bucs shock…nobody. Giants win 27-16

Washington@St. Louis –

ROB- RG III is the best QB in the league! Sam Bradford used to be also, you see where I am going with this right? Washington wins because RG III will ride his unpredictability until they lose the last 8 games and miss the playoffs.

MATT- Forget Tebowing…Griffining takes the nation by storm as an underrated Redskins defense holds Steven Jackson in check. Redskins 27- Rams 14

BRENDEN- Stephen Jackson has his one really good game for the year, that makes him look like a smart draft pick and the Rams win 24-23. He’ll get hurt next week.

Dallas@Seattle –

ROB- Dallas is going to have an explosive offense this year and Seattle has no offense and without one you can’t score. Barring a complete meltdown by Romo, Dallas wins by a wide margin leaving Matt Flynn to wonder why he left Green Bay in the first place, at least he could’ve won a ring as a back-up there.

MATT- Rob Ryan figuratively and literally eats Russell Wilson alive. Cowboys 27- Seahawks 3

BRENDEN- Tony Romo has a flashback to the fumble he committed to lose in the playoffs a few years back and has a panic attack. Kyle Orton leads the boys’ to a 24-10 victory.

Tennessee@San Diego –

ROB- Jake Locker looked really good last Sunday, as long as you like seeing QBs getting pounded to the ground. San Diego usually starts its collapse into the playoffs at week 3, they win this one in what is sure to be a very boring game.

MATT- If Locker can continue to show the flashes of talent like he did against the Patriots the Titans will win….but he won’t. Chargers 21- Titans 13

BRENDEN- Tennessee gets it’s criminal wide receiver Kenny Britt back, but the city named after an old wooden ship (anchorman reference)wins . This will make everyone think that the Chargers are good, however Norv Turner is still their coach.

NY Jets@Pittsburgh –

ROB- Some want this to be the game of the week, it won’t be. Pittsburgh looked angry last week, Denver is just a good team, and now they will take it out on Sanchez who will throw at least 2 picks. Get those TEBOW chants ready Jet fans.

MATT- I will start every Jets pick with the same statement…JETS SUCK!! Roethlisberger goes nuts against a Revis-less Jets D and Mark Sanchez plays like well….Mark Sanchez. Steelers 31- Jets 10

BRENDEN- A game featuring two QB’s who have a thing for younger women, except Big Ben doesn’t care if they like him back. Pitt grounds the Jets 17-13

Detroit@San Francisco –

ROB- Matchup of the week by far. Detroit has a good defense that people like to ignore and can cause havoc for Alex Smith, who, by the way, is America’s sweetheart now? Stafford, like Brees, has something to prove and San Fran cannot contain Megatron.

MATT- Handshakegate part 2. With the momentum of their big win over Green Bay, the Niners stay hot and are able to hold Megaton in check to move to 2-0. 49ers 24- Lions 17

BRENDEN- After the 49ers win 24-21 Jim Harbaugh goes to shake Jim Schwartz’s hand but at the last second pulls the fake-handshake-run-hand-though-hair-dick-move.

Denver@Atlanta –

ROB- Barn burner as both QBs throw close to 400 yards, despite Denver’s defense. Matty Ice is joining the upper echelon of Quarterbackdom (trademark) and Peyton, once again, proves that he is a game changer on, and off, the field. Atlanta wins in a shocker.

MATT- Shootout of the week. Manning is good, but Matty Ice has too many targets for the Broncos to cover. Falcons 38- Broncos 34

BRENDEN- Peyton Manning and his bionic neck put up a fight, but the dirty birds prevail 27-24.

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